poetry

July on the Plains

July on the Plains

you go east
tumbling out of the mountains
just like Clear Creek
but before you hit the malty smell of Coors
turn north
skirt the tilted tablelands
where the ground ruptured
while birthing mountains
and now the prickly dark-ever-green
of forest
has given way
to the stiff serrated-yellow-green
of grass –
you don’t need
the window down
to sense the heat rising in waves
from the baking land,
you feel it inside, too –
setting things on edge
bringing you one step closer
to boiling over

poetry

what I didn’t do

what I didn’t do

soak in the clawfoot tub
with rose petal milk bath
run every blessed day
go to bed early
finish the 30 Day Yoga Challenge
finish (any) book
finish the Kamana poems
finish laying out The Perch Post
finish revising Lachrymation
light the candles at the foot of the bed
read the guest book comments
type up all the Caribou poems
embroider a visor
become fluent in Spanish
order business cards
see a pine marten
call my dad every single day
get there in time

in the end
there’s only so much
energy you can spend
cataloging what you let go
so you can live
only so many fires you can light
and keep fed

poetry

another night in this bed

another night in this bed

William has passed
she said
calling him a name
he never used
the one he
came into the world with
a letterhead name
his father and father’s father
both bore
and failed to live by

what could I say next
to this well-meaning woman
her days filled with
speaking closed doors
to ears unready to hear
each crisp word
announcing an end to chances

I hung the phone
back in its cradle
testing the weight
of no more time

poetry

blood

blood

our bodies are strung
with garnets and rubies
glowing coals
hidden by
pallid flesh

poetry

becoming a body

becoming a body

everything slows
air
sound
time
that warm heart squeezes
with less gusto
less interested in hanging on
the lungs creak open
a smaller crack
they’re coming to rest
like a pendulum becomes plumb
eyes turn inward
focused on re-viewing not seeing
limbs move their last
they didn’t know
which would be their final stair
parting wave
goodbye kiss
the ocean pulse that runs from tip to toe
weakens
ebbs
the blue line traces
shallower crests and troughs
the electrical buzz
that hummed distractingly
in the background every moment
starts to crackle with static
sputter
flicker
like the lights in the windstorm
of a deep snow day
the circle narrows
who knows you well enough
to still see you now?
and now?

we are all going
from poor souls
to untethered bodies
mostly living less each day
but sometimes we waken
from life’s lull
to moonglow through pine boughs
and breathe some life back in
to keep our spirits stitched to our hearts
for another long midsummer day

poetry

sewing on a star

sewing on a star

in the mountain town’s news
there’s no national section
or notion of globe

hospital/ambulance/snowpack/flood
consume the front page
and we’re wonderfully removed
(one feels)
from tanks and Pennsylvania Avenue
the only rumbles here from thunderheads
(also on holiday today)

it’s so easy

to follow the red-white-and-blue chain
of early risers run/walking
one heart-stopping view at a time
through the chute
then tumble onto the county building lawn

to admire the parade’s burros
while the mayor jokes about assets

to lounge in St. Vincent’s shade
with a plate full of hospitality
while the band strums Jackson
and the police officer and firefighter
furtively hold hands
on their way to the trees

to clap and say ooh
at the blue-dotted domes of fire
lighting up the space between
the football field and Antares

it’s far too easy

to shut off the disgust
at the Stars and Bars
in the parade Jeep’s rear window

to imagine there’s no flag now flying
over caged kids
wrapped in foil on concrete floors
with no mother left to call

to pledge allegiance to
this nation of lost souls
more willing to hand the keys
to a dictator than a woman
who love guns more than children
and money most of all

too tempting to be
my four-year-old self again
posing for the paper
fingers faking a needle
dressed up as Betsy Ross
sewing on a star

poetry

blank blue

blank blue

clear sky
makes for dull sunset

no brooding clouds to split the light
or struggle through a rainbow of hues
on their way to spent grey
no roiling mist glowing at upper tips
while the base darkens with rain

the blank blue stares back
unblinking
no tumultuous storm to reflect upon
no thunderbolts to dodge

poetry

Swamp Monster Ballad

Swamp Monster Ballad

when that rain it starts a-drummin’
you’ll know he’s drawin’ near
and that moss green giant monster
‘ll make you quake with fear

his long legs they’ll start a-pumpin’
and his nylon it’ll flap
and the sound of his cavortin’
‘ll send ya racin’ to yer Pap

through shaking fingers ‘gainst yer eyes
you may dare to peek
at this wet and wild wonder
who never seems to speak

no, his frenzied dance is silent
splashing’s the only sign
of this disco-dancin’ boogie-man
who rises from the mine

oh he lives down deep amongst the dark
of Kentucky Boy’s steep shaft
and comes above to jig about
when he hears the thunder crack

‘specially in a new moon storm
or so I’ve heard it said
and ev’ry month when that orb wanes
my heart it fills with dread

for if his damp hand claws for your’n
and gets it in his grasp
you’re doomed to waltz away yer days
in his cold ‘n’ clammy clasp

so when you see that lightnin’ flash
or hear the thunder boom
best scoot inside as quick as ya can or
puddle-dancin’ ‘ll be yer doom

poetry

younger brother

younger brother

I hate pink
he says
and I start to cluck my tongue
at the gender norm straitjacket
because
he continues
my sister hates it
and everything shifts

poetry

managing panic

managing panic

you may do your best
to turn off the part of the brain
that sees the river below
and wants to contemplate
the thin steel wire
connecting you to existence

the part that’s sure
that although you know
how to put one foot in front of the other
you may well fall/fail

those feet then dangling in mid-air
your body unsuccessfully
contorting to get grounded
your heavy self stuck
in the no-man’s land
between here and there

even if you do
reroute those synapses
your gut may still betray you
flip-flopping through
unbidden sensations
of worst-case scenarios
begging your brain to acknowledge
the distance between
yourself and safe

you are still being
your own kind of brave

meanwhile, your smallest son
bounces from one swaying beam
to the next, grinning
while the other one pauses
gets down on hands and knees
on a narrow platform
high above the river
to joyfully peer into a nest
and your husband cracks jokes
no dry taste of fear
in his mouth all day

but you still stepped out
of your comfort zone
into thin air
one shaky limb at a time
sometimes remembering to breathe

you did your best
to bypass your wiring
and persuade yourself to trust
the support would hold