Bruce Highway
Bruce Highway
blue to port
starboard, green
charcoal grey road
rolls out into hill
we follow the dash dash dash
line south
looking for roos
dodging the heat
learning new names
for what might be next
waterless ocean
waterless ocean
it’s a curious feeling
this waterless ocean
sea + sand but no
bathing floating quenching
the water does all its usual things
but not to us
chock full of crocs with restless jaws
and box jellies that would unwittingly kill us
(the sign warns apply vinegar
+ immediately begin CPR –
the pain’s so excruciating
it’ll truly stop your heart)
we wander the shore
like Victorian ladies
who for now must keep
our lacy petticoats dry
hammerhead
hammerhead
strolling on the tame paved Esplanade
late on an empty Monday morning
we eye a pole flexing
with the tell-tale wiggle of fish
and the man in black
with an unkempt white beard
racing to grab the rod
we pause to see
whether he’ll land it
and sure enough
the line drags heavy on the sand
with the fish’s pull
but, no, it’s not –
this shape is all angles
sharp tail
and misshapen face
we all gasp in horror
then recognition
shark
not only that but
hammerhead
the eyes like afterthoughts
on metastasized lumps of face
the mouth when the man flips the creature over
a half-moon of needles
begging to prick
but the skin feels
surprisingly smooth calm reasonable
innocent
it’s a baby
a few weeks old
and he can’t heave it
back into the aqua of Trinity Bay
too soon for my suddenly squeamish taste
Our “favorite” T-shirt, hat, minibus slogans
T-shirt: Think less
Hat: Go to hell
T-shirt: M.A.T.H.: Most Awful Thing from Hell
T-shirt: Afraid to make mistakes
T-shirt: I’ve got 99 problems and this beer will solve all of them
T-shirt: I stay fit by running from my problems.
Minibus: Hello haters
T-shirt: Goddamn I’m photo hunter
T-shirt: Just do nothing
Minibus: Sexy taxi
Minibus: Uncle chop chop
T-shirt: Try not to disturb me
T-shirt: Sorry I’m stoned
T-shirt: Superman is dead
Cigarette advertisement: Never quit
T-shirt: ABCDEFU**
T-shirt: Stomp the fu**ers
Minibus: Mr Onion
T-shirt: Extreme Fury: Ready to Fight
Hat: Fu** you
T-shirt: Surprise! I’m trunk!
Alex’s rules for travel, updated to include SE Asia
Amenities in order from least common to most common: milk for drip coffee, drip coffee, hot shower, beer, WiFi, air conditioning, toilet paper, filtered drinking water, western toilet, cold shower, electricity, mosquito netting, cell service.
Go slowly, be kind, and keep going. Just like in a 100.
Driving on left: yield for right turns, directional and windshield wiper controls are swapped, driver needs to enter in the right side of the car.
Never pass up clean water or a clean bathroom.
Trying to predict how much time something will take is a waste of time.
Paying for two cokes and two beers gets you hours on the terrace of the fanciest hotel.
Bears (or lions in Africa or tigers in Indonesia or sharks in Australia or whatever the top of the food chain happens to be) don’t care about how your day is going.
You can always fit one more person in the car.
There’s more WiFi and cell coverage than you expect but your phone will connect less than you expect.
Cash wins.
Most problems can be solved with a cold Coke, Fanta (orange not red), or beer.
Africa: embrace the dust. Love the dust. Be one with the dust.
Indonesia: embrace the humidity. Love the humidity. Be one with the humidity.
Your body’s response to the humidity is very non-linear. You’re walking along just fine and then – BAM – the humidity catches up to you. And every pore is sweating and everything is saturated. Maybe that’s what malaria is like.
Tires (and entire wheels) fail first.
Some things are both unknown and unknowable.
Find the yes person and stick with them; find the no person and politely persist.
fluency
fluency
at the rental car counter
English gushes from the Kiwi clerk’s
young, witty, unpretentious lips
and within seconds
she grasps our situation
anticipates what we’ll say next
banters, poses questions
sizes up our promotional brochure needs
and sends us on our way
with bubbly brisk efficiency
while we blink mutely
realizing how impoverished
our speech has been for months
(our fault, not learning Tok Ples
as they say in PNG)
and we stand stunned by what can be said
when you share a mother tongue
