poetry

tragic

This poem was written in response to this comic, which deeply saddened one of our sons. I actually reached out to the artist to see if she might have anything comforting to communicate to him, but I have not received a response. The article explains that she drew the comic to encourage drivers to slow down for ducklings. Our kids found it by Googling “duck comic.”

tragic

all the departing souls saying
I’m so sorry
all the dying pleading
Can you say goodbye to me?

our sweet son sees a comic
of a ghost duckling
taking leave of his mama
and knows the devastating truth of it –
they’ll never know each other again

we are not the faithful it is written type
no, we’re bound to hang on to breath
and the dear flawed souls around us
with our heels dug in
teeth gritted
not taking any chances on some future homecoming
or even any afterlife

I want to shake that artist
until her own teeth rattle
and demand
What were you thinking?
There’s enough real tragedy in sight
without making him mourn
your damned duck
or his mother.
Why make his world any more sad
than tomorrow demands?

poetry

our shared grief

our shared grief

in this lonely time of loss
each of us locked away
in our own sorrow
the future a grey haze
uncertainty dusting everything
we do or say like fine ash
the fear of dying alone
(our death or a beloved’s)
with no hand to hold
no last pressure between worlds
the one consolation is
our shared grief –
that you know a bit
of what I must say no to
without me opening my lips
for maybe the only time
our hearts share this unsaid knowing
that we would each gladly
take this away from the other

I want to splash warm red
and the smell of cinnamon
into your scene
let you remember
how spontaneous laughter feels
light the way forward for you
at least a few steps

poetry

safer-at-home start

safer-at-home start

our first trip to town in 5 weeks
and the new reality is everywhere:
masked bandits entering banks
and mailing letters
it feels so different
seeing it all in person
my kind husband like a
stagecoach robber
and no end in sight
no way to know
how to best love
our loved ones

poetry

safe

safe

this is the safe time
everyone snuggled in their beds
minds easy

in our cheerful cabin
at the end of the plowed road
we go unmasked
rambling around the hills
confident in our isolation

things are mostly black-and-white
in such a small world
we have already put the pieces together
in a way that spells out
safe

but soon
the closed roads will open
the drifts will melt
appointments will be made and kept
the wide world will beckon
and the confusion of a thousand choices
will return –
our life of too many options

for right now
I’m going to luxuriate
in this small quiet safeness
throw myself down
and make snow angels in it even
press my whole body into its
cold near-certainty
before brushing myself off
and steeling for the next wave

poetry

one month isolation

one month isolation

now there is time
to witness winter melting
to sit and listen to icicles drip
to watch snow go to water to wind

and yet
there is still not enough time
to do all that should be done
the hours are filled by so much less now
we forget how to be busy
accept going slow

poetry

isolation/grief

isolation/grief

so many small sadnesses
including putting away
this last filled fieldbook
closing our adventurous chapter
staring down rows and rows
of weeks of going nowhere
feeling like we failed
to do what we said we would
so many plans scattered
in the flurry of leaving

if only I believed in the kind of god
who wanted me to submit
and trust his plan
having most options wrenched away
would be easier to accept

but beyond all these petty disappointments
we’re alive
and grateful
and past caring for little else

poetry

quarantine

quarantine

every day longer and slower
than the last
filled with even less

the sun conspires
stays up even later
with a narrower lens

poetry

on guard

on guard

in these woods
I scan between
upright trunks like barcodes
looking for big blocks
of wild flesh
wondering
what might be
around the corner
for us all

poetry

not shopping

not shopping

almost a month
since I set foot in a store

probably the longest time in my life
except maybe college
(but I don’t think so –
College and Variety
Luigi’s and the Bookstore
Nothing but the Blues and Shaw’s
got a little of me here and there)

one month of gazing at the woods:
a terrible way to get better

poetry

the sleeping fox

the sleeping fox

when the horizon
is too filled with disaster
I train my internal eye
on the image of a sleeping fox

we watched him climb
the hill behind our house
on a day when
most of our world had melted

there in the warm
russet-brown of the pine duff
he circled then curled,
a fiery fluff of warm fur
lit by early spring sunshine

he knew nothing of our worries
and simply slept sound
and I watched in thanks
for the proof of a being
who could still dream
simple safe dreams
limbs loose, mind at ease