chatelaine
what does a woman
without pockets need?
a silver chain
clasped at the waist
suspending perfume
smelling salts
beeswax for her lips
(all vanity)
but also,
paper and pencil:
we’re not so different
after all
chatelaine
what does a woman
without pockets need?
a silver chain
clasped at the waist
suspending perfume
smelling salts
beeswax for her lips
(all vanity)
but also,
paper and pencil:
we’re not so different
after all
moving toward kind
Be kind whenever possible.
It is always possible.
– His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
sometimes bitterness wells up
spills over
burns a bystander
with caustic words
the acid bubbles up
before you can neutralize it
with a deep inhale
or I/thou thought
leaves you both raw human flawed
so far from bodhisattvahood
compassion still something
you have to summon by force of will
no ocean flowing from you
just the hot sand and jumbled rocks
of a shadeless dry reservoir
a remnant of deeper days
sometimes I feel like the weevil on the headlamp
doing endless laps
thinking she’s getting closer to the light
barely moving
but when one boys says
I just want loving kindness
and another boy says
I will do better
and then they both say huggie!
snuggling chins into crooks of necks
I think maybe it’s possible
we’re moving toward kind
talking to animals
goodnight, Woody
we cheerfully say
wishing the pack rat in the shed
sweet dreams
(or a productive evening, I suppose)
I bring the hummingbird feeder in
and start to retrieve the chairs from the deck
when a bit of electric green zips to me
hovers about my face as if to say
I was still working on that!
I’m sorry
I say out loud
I’ll bring it back
then hurry to the kitchen
like an apologetic waitress
hang it up
then call to her in the fading light
when the mountains outlined in kohl
send their snow-white glow
out like moonshine
here you go!
we dream of talking with animals
(manage it with pets)
and once I read an instructional book:
clear your mind
the animal will insert images –
but nothing arrived
here, living with wild lives every day
it seems possible
that they might understand a soothing tone
trust a slow, calm movement
teach us what to say and how
improve our boorish manners
come into relationship
with some well-meaning bumbling apes
the tall bed
it feels like coming aboard
stepping up on the high wooden box
then hoisting myself onto
this queen-sized raft of dream
with extra-long pillows
and billowing duvet
a good 4 feet off the floor
we set sail
into the short dark of summer
perforated by starshine
while Homestake’s white wave
curls in the distance
later
rosy mountain sunrise snow
gently announces
it’s another day now
time to disembark
and make those hazy dreams real
Cedar at 9
chances are he’s barefoot
in a puddle
singing a song
he makes up as he goes
hips swiveling
Cubs hat bobbing
feet splashing mud everywhere
he’s the warm spark
that grounds this family
and lightens us up
the lucky energy that keeps pumping
when we’re about to wind down
our pug-loving chicken farmer
who right now is testing
just how much adrenaline
one hammock can hold
19 summers and winters
so many photos
of us
out-of-doors
grinning
the land’s beauty
humming about us
in every direction
what luck
to find another soul
who loves life
that way
and to still be here
together
ready to walk out
into whatever waits
little bang
13 billion years ago
there was almost less than nothing
no time
no space
emptiness so empty
we can’t fathom it
then
the singularity
three minutes later
most of everything that will be was
in a universe flying apart
later lit
by flaming nuclear stars
tiny phosphorescent dots
in a great black sea of vacuum
46.75 years ago
I was in the same empty void
then
two little cells fused
and we’ve all been reacting ever since
today on the deck
in a brief bit of sun
between snow showers
I face Sol
close my eyes
soak in the energy
until my lids are fired
and all my internal screens
have gone burnt-orange-quiet
feeling that heat for a moment
I believe
I’m as undeniably here
as that rascal sun
Playing Life
you start out a slender pink or blue peg
cede choice as the spinner dictates a fate
pop in a peg to ride shotgun
go into deep debt buying a house
acquire children traded to the bank later
play the market & mostly win
seek revenge with glee
covet white men on white bills
(G.I. Luvmoney)
and on the Day of Reckoning
choose between millionaire or tycoon
but our kind of life is outside all this:
soft snow on green-black pines
empty car idle in the dirt driveway
muddy shoes drying here by the fire
a warm snuggle-nuzzle equaling
all the wealth there is
For the last two years my BoCo Wild Writers students and I have paused each month to observe our surroundings, and compiled these writings into a literary almanac. This year we’ve been facing each of the four cardinal directions each time. My mom and our boys and I took time today to compose these June observations.
Summer Solstice: 3 Generations, 4 Directions
north
The wind was whistling as the birds were singing.
Deer – previously. Cedar is booki-booki. Needles. Trees. New life. Decayed logs. Earth. Eventually, Canada. The pencil of sadness has arrived.
Solstice afternoon in Leadville with my daughter and her boys – my grandsons. Warmed by the intermittent sunshine or bird calls, a fly buzzes near me. Sitting in their two-story tree fort with the dark, curled bark dangling off the floor and side rails. The fir trees present with similar bark – barren of needles until they gain enough access to the sunshine.
A ship’s prow of beaver-chewed logs holds us aloft in our own crow’s nest floating above the forest floor littered with needles, strewn with branches, peppered with rocks.
east
The wind was howling and the birds were tweeting.
Steep. Uphill. Clouds. Writhing. Twisting. Trees. Swaying. Go that way, hang a left: Nebraska. You can’t miss it.
The poet is now only in my peripheral vision and her sons are in our “front” seat. The hillside now slopes upward. The ground is bathed mainly in sun with several thin stumps standing at attention and parts of some fallen trunks scattered about.
Two boys up in some trees, one talking nonstop. Taylor Hill climbs before us, stone steps leading to snow.
south
The wind was breezing and the birds were chattering.
The tropics. Warm, sunny beaches. Not here. That way’s the snowman and the largest drift in sight. No beaches for us. But that way’s Texas. You want beaches, go there.
I now am at our steering wheel. Erin’s gentle voice is the only way I know she’s present. The boys’ laughter confirms their presence to the east. My west (right side) is warmed by the sun. The gentle breeze brushes against my face. An occasional bird calls out. The hillside slopes gently downward, less dense with trees, more covered with medium rocks and one pile of twigs.
Trees stand in straight green and grey lines. Clouds blow up and roll in cartwheels over the bluebell sky. A raven chirrs. The dead tree that holds us high clutches handfuls of pinecone promises.
west
Charlie is barking and you can see the evidence of what was once a snowman.
Snow-capped peaks. Incredible sunsets. Even the occasional pine marten, bear, or fox. A downhill grade towards home (and Nevada).
I face the sun, legs dangling from the fort, the hill’s downward slope increased, the breeze slightly stronger and cooler. My northwest view is quite shaded, my southwest view more dappled (one of my favorite words), the wind more audible. This solstice day to be treasured until we celebrate the next one together in Australia this December.
Homestake’s hidden in a wall of white cloud, criss-crossed by a lattice of branches and trunks. The highway noise creeps up the hill, and we sway a bit with the solstice breeze.
snowman’s forecast
it’s corn snow
barely packable
more the stuff of shave ice
than snowman
but they’re off
in one of the last drifts
packing their palms with icy white
till their warm blood goes cold
and skin burns red
in the end
he’s pint-sized and perky
stick arms aligned with the poles
pointing the way we’re headed:
a year with no winter
three summer solstices in a row