learning a language
tongue clicks purrs jaws grinding stretching holding up one leg a sharp call
and a low warble
moment by moment
we learn how to speak
parrot
or lover
or child
each time banking on
the patience and goodwill
of our innocent instructor
we learn a new way
to say what we need
13 in 2020
he needs a bigger bookcase
and pants that fit
a haircut strategy
and a phone of his own (eventually…)
he needs to be pulled outside
to get his blood pumping
and unify body + mind
he needs to know
when normal will resume
a timeline for his tropical dreaming
when he can next dust off that life list
how many years until his passport
will be stamped again
he needs some certainty
about where he’s going
and when
and all I know for sure is
none of us knows what’s next
but wherever he is
is even more wonderful
for his deep-feeling heart
ancestors
we are here
and we see you
each one of us trailed
by our ancestors’ shadows
radiating out from our small souls
like spokes from a turning wheel
like the infinite bodies extending
away from ours
in the dressing room mirror
when we speak
echoes of their beliefs rattle
through the drums of our chests
we are never alone
with us they say
in their own silent tones
we are here
and we see you
encouraging words
boxes stacked toward the ceiling
of the still living room
I sift through the papers
of the years
of heartstrings
so many souls
keep us alive
and more –
keep us dreaming and doing
becoming more than we might have
exceeding our own expectations
stretching to just barely
nudge against theirs
tending to time
already the to-do list
has spilled off the table
and squeezed under the doorjamb
smothering to-be time
I’m making a small circle of now
outlining places to file down
to keep things smooth
life mindlessly carries us along
until we remember
to tend rootlets all around
inheritance
what would he think of his wife
whittling away his children’s wealth
erasing their names
by the respective x’s,
and inserting her own,
including his difficult surname
that she’d earned
over the long hard years
lying beside his failing body
he was mostly all business
proud of his cold calculations
he watched the stock ticker crawl
from his hospital bed
and once, after opposing counsel shamed him,
he pinned the man in the courthouse elevator,
threatened him and others to come
but sometimes he was pleased
to unfist his hands
smugly magnanimous
glad to be the bigger man
or perhaps generous with guilt
I think he’d just be disappointed
in any one of us who failed to fight
his money wasted (he’d mutter)
on idiots
who ought to have learned
how to hold on to a gift
Thunder Pass
we go to the mountains
to be awed
humbled by all the creations
more beautiful than ourselves
violet-blue delphinium
rose-pink queen’s crown
Snow Lake gleaming blue-grey
in midday sun
midway between summer and fall
we fall hopelessly in love
with big spaces
uncontrollable forces
feeling tiny and peaceful
blissfully letting go
of the illusion of control
we put one foot in front of the other
trusting the path
open to anything
thankful for each wondrous bit
of color light sound being
that passes our way
Pepper
he always seems to be smiling
large brown eyes curious and calm
beak mostly quiet
as if he has one eyebrow arched
wondering what off-base thing
we might do next
even when he was way up in the aviary
high enough to believe he was the boss
he willingly came to us
amazing
Would you like to be part of our family?
I ask
not sure what yes looks like
a few weeks ago he flew down out of the sky
to another family who couldn’t take him
as if asking for
some warm humans
to love him and keep him safe
I hope that’s us
that we’re worth falling from heaven for
August First
August sneaks up
just when you feel you’re
safely in the thick of summer
lazing through July
but school and structure
are only a breath away
the days are getting shorter
I feel it tonight
but with the dark
comes candlelight’s glow
and the warmth of the cheery lanterns
strung overhead
these are the days when
I would take my new school shoes
out of their cardboard box
admire them and smell the stiff leather
then close them back in the closet
prepared to suck whatever juice summer had left
from that popsicle quickly losing its color and tang
going ice-grey
