sitting still
sitting with the pain of the world
I stroke Syd’s flipper
pat his back
listen
while the ocean pours out of him
it doesn’t matter so much
where our brokenness lies
where the blows came from
how they were dealt
we most need
to sit with each other’s pain
bear witness to
the immense hurt
we sometimes cannot even name
and recollect
the strong resilient beings we are
able to knit our fractured selves
back together
sometimes with even
more abiding bonds
if only we can remove
our breastplates first
and be vulnerable
together
thank you, Maker Table Makers
my children make me a picture
of what’s worth protecting
but they miss themselves
moments later there they are
spitting with the effort
required to stay afloat
here I will build
a wall of light around them
a fiery band of love
that they can always call home:
whatever they do is enough
whoever they are, they’re loved
on not changing
i
I love it all
even the way
I can’t say no
ii
buckets full
overflowing even
some spills over
does everyone good
iii
some days
there’s even more patience
than the day demands –
that’s when we laugh
camping with boys
a blue blur flattens everything inside
the 3-meter-squared-square
I’m a steamroller
sent to flatten evil Farmer McGregor
it growls
then squirms around to roll
the perpendicular pathway
to make sure every bit of the people inside
has been paved into oblivion
Good morning, steamroller
I say, my crushed lips
luckily still able to
form a smile
apology
I will build a cloud of calm
a warm nest you can sink down in
a cool pool to plunge into
when your temper’s gone hot
and your eyes flash
and fists clench
and lip curls in a sneer
inside will be the sparkle of stars
and the sleepy sound of cricket calls
the scent of lavender and vanilla
the soft soothe of otter fur
so dense it soaks up
all the loud jagged jabs
your elbows might wish to throw
in the center of this scene
will be my warm tender heart
always open to you
cozy as a little penguin’s jumper
even when you’re on the warpath
over toothpaste shower or parka
it’s not ready yet
but, my big, sweet son,
I’m building it now
space for us both to breathe
